If you are drinking something, put it down right now, otherwise it may come out of your nose. An alumnus sent me the following document, “Ways a Teen Mania Woman Acts on Campus,” that was presented to all intern women during her year. My comments and questions are in italics.
Curriculum for Practical Guidelines for
the Character of a Teen Mania Woman
Prepared by BB (I’m changing the name to just the initials, but if you were there during her time you know who this is.)
She has an intimate and contagious relationship with the Lord. (How do you make that contagious? Another abstract value you can’t possibly live up to.)
— She makes Christ her priority
— She resists codependency on other women
— She resists codependency on men
— She honors her parents without becoming dependent upon them
She carries herself like a lady. Think of the most feminine yet confident woman that you know. Her reputation prepares the way for her and others honor her presence because of the respect with which she carries herself. You can be a lady by the way you dress, talk, support and encourage.
— She allows men to open doors and carry heavy items
— She is seldom the center of attraction (leaving that place for the men?)
— She is a woman of few words. Her words are golden. (being talkative is wrong?)
— She respects the other women on campus by not adding to gossip or dissension
— She despises flirting and does not resort to that level of communication to win favor or attention (despises? wow, that is kinda harsh!)
She acts with discretion.
–She doesn’t walk around the dorms naked or half dressed. (Yeah, its not like the dorms are your home people!)
–She doesn’t publicly make bodily function noises (farts, burps, any other exaggerated and inappropriate noises) which would single her out in a crowd (yes, burping is a character issue, Jesus said so)
–She never attracts attention to herself by screaming, being emotional or any other acts of attention getting behavior (a woman having attention = bad?)
— She can be trusted with information
She is surrounded by other women
— She spends the majority of her time with other women (but without being too dependent!)
— She does not become exclusive with one man or group of men
— Her best friend on campus is not a male intern
— She has an accountability partner and seeks out the wisdom of older wiser women (yeah, like at least 24 years old)
— Her social group is composed of women that she supports as well as gleans from. She never manipulates to create a social group composed of someone she is attracted to, etc.
She respects the other women on campus.
— If a woman embarrasses herself, she doesn’t make it a big scene to embarrass that person further (she covers her sister). (this is a nice guideline)
— She doesn’t allow herself to be an audience of a gossip session. If the person is not present to defend themselves, she will have no part of the conversation
— She loving confronts instead of viciously criticizing
— She gravitates toward the woman she envies instead of creating a chasm of covetousness (huh?)
She carefully and tastefully selects what she wears, as a result, she respects herself and honors her brothers.
— She checks herself before she leaves her room (cleavage, outfit length and tightness, splits etc)
— She realizes that men are visual and she doesn’t want to be the stumbling block to any of the men on campus.
— She allows other women to speak into her wardrobe (speak into her wardrobe? lol)
— If she has any doubts or concerns about her outfit, she asks and takes advice or she changes.
She does not talk about previous (sexual) relationships.
— She realizes that men dont want to hear it.
— She realizes that it can bring up memories in the guy she is talking to about relationships he was once in.
— She understands that guys don’t want to hear about girls that have messed around with guys. (huh?)
— She realizes that the picture she paints of herself to this man is forever imprinted in his mind. (because a guy can’t see through Jesus’ eyes of forgiveness and purity)
She treats all men the same, regardless if she finds him attractive or not.
— She realizes that guys pick up that she favors a certain man and that will make her reputation as someone who only treats handsome or popular men nicely. (huh?)
— She realizes that God created all men fearfully and she wants to treat all of them that way.
— She longs for healthy relationships and does not want to defraud herself of the opportunity to experience a relationship that is platonic.
She realizes that God will not speak to her about a guy here, but her emotions sure will. (really? lots of interns have married each other! God is not bound by your rules)
— She realizes that God knows the commitment she made to not date for a year. He would not reveal something to her that would make it difficult to keep that commitment. (reference: Hezekiah 4:18)
— She realizes that dating can happen in the mind and in other levels of emotions. She does not ignore confrontation or wisdom’s cries. (AKA we can confront you even if you aren’t actually doing anything wrong)
— She realizes that guys are here to seek the Lord and when she starts seeking a guy, then she has just become a messenger of Satan or a thorn in his flesh. (wow! messenger of Satan!? thats a bit much)
— She realizes that she is a woman and her need to be loved and accepted continues this year, but that she is not here to court these men and find a mate, but to respect them.
She forward (sic) to and encourages TM men to be the leaders on campus (so women are not allowed to lead on campus?)
— She lets them get the door and carry packages.
— She accepts compliments humbly and lets it roll of her back (“roll of her back” means you don’t take in what someone says…is she saying not to take compliments to heart?)
— She has no need to compete with men. She finds confidence in who God has made her. (AKA – stay in your place woman!)
She contributes her leadership skills and giftings to this campus. (but wait, I thought you said she lets the men lead?)
— She finds her giftings and serve the campus with them
— She supports others in their giftings and find opportunities to exhort the women
— She honors leadership and their decisions, whether she agrees with them or not. (AKA you have to do whatever we say whether you like it or not)