I attended the Honor Academy a few years ago and I was sexually involved with a male staff member. I honestly don’t remember exactly how the relationship started, I try to block that out and not think about it. I do remember that he would message me late at night, making small talk, I would respond, “hey how are you?” which most definitely always was followed by him saying “horny” or “bored… “
By the time I went home for Christmas, he would webcam with me while he was naked. He would be in the shower, jerking off showing me literally every inch of his body. Being a man who “struggled” with homosexuality, I was curious, so I didn’t stop him, even though I could have. Even though I did allow him to talk dirty to me and to webcam, I NEVER consented to anything physical and I never reciprocated the naked webcam, even when he asked me to.
After “graduating” I stayed for a second year, and during this year is when I was done.
Once, he invited me over and I crashed at his house on a bed. At one point we both were in the same bed. I felt really uncomfortable and I didn’t know what to do so I just laid there and pretended I was asleep.
Another time, I ended up going to his house with a couple other core guys, and he called me to come back to his room to see something… I went into his room and he was in a towel. He dropped the towel, put his dick in front of my face while pushing it against my mouth, but no way in HELL was I doing that. When I didn’t show interest, he walked into the bathroom and put his clothes on and came out with the other intern guys.
After that I felt really bad since I was trying to be a good Christian and a good intern. I told him that either he would confess or I would. But he just said something along the lines of “Its been a struggle for me, and the people who need to know know,” and then deleted me as a friend on facebook.
My life is nowhere near perfect as I am trying to find the balance of loving God and living my life (as a homosexual man) especially because my family does not agree with my lifestyle. I never “confessed” to anyone at TM about this situation in fear of being dismissed for doing bad things while being an intern, I just packed up and left. Even to this day (literally, today), he will message me and try initiating a conversation, but I don’t entertain it… He is no longer a staff member at Teen Mania.
I think it is important for people to know about this, and maybe if there is a situation with a current intern going thru something similar I hope that this will help them to be strong enough to speak out rather than living in fear of “dismissal.” Now I look back and it was so stupid!
Life is too short to live in bondage and constantly beating yourself up for things out of your control. When I was finally able to accept myself for who I am, and let go of my past, the bright future is all I have to look forward to! Granted, life still isn’t easy, and living a homosexual life definitely makes it interesting, but I have finally found peace and joy now that I have a boyfriend who truly cares about me and loves me, knows my past, and is looking to the future with me. 🙂