Opposite Sex Friendships

An intern in the current Honor Academy class wrote about her first experience meeting her brother core. Her brother core CA (core advisor) then gave these “words of wisdom:”


He asked us not to go to the guys when he were upset or distressed about something…we were to go to one of our sisters in order to protect the men’s hearts. He also said that guys have in their minds, the idea that all women gossip and talk bad about them behind their backs..he asked us to prove that wrong this year.

Thoughts?

327 Comments on "Opposite Sex Friendships"

  1. "Guard your heart" is one of the most misinterpreted phrases in Scripture. To understand "guard your heart" as "beware of forming romantic attachments" can only be described as naive. The Hebrew word translated "heart" has little or nothing to do with romance; it's not as in "hearts and flowers" but as in "the heart of the matter." It encompasses a person's mind, spirit, thoughts, understanding, attitude, will, conscience, personality… "Inner man" or "inner life" is a closer translation, possibly even "spiritual life."

    Also, you don't have to guard somebody else's heart for them. It says "guard your heart."

  2. Personally – I see it as another attempt to make women responsible for men's thought's actions. Like Eric said, "you don't have to guard somebody else's heart for them".

    Also there seems to be a subtle attempt to divide the girls is a way. Don't go the the guy's with your issues – go to the girls…but don't talk TOO much or it might be considered gossipy.

    The fact is that women are much more verbal then men and NEED to talk things out. There's a HUGE difference in talking about an issue and gossiping. However in TM's black and white environment there's little room to distinguish between the two.

  3. I think its weird that supposedly all men are paranoid about women talking about them behind their backs. I asked my husband what he thought about that and he laughed and said, "Most guys would probably be happy that a women was talking about them" lol

  4. This is true – I wonder if it has to due with 'knowing' that from your CA up everyone knows your business and is judging you. We all have a need for some privacy and if your core and sister/brother core are talking about you literally EVERY knows or is talking about your business. It creates a lot of paranoia.

  5. "The guys think….." sounds a bit like projecting. Perhaps he felt like this or perhaps he saw this in his intern year. Perhaps one of the leadership over the CAs did so they gave this as a script for all CAs to say to make the ladies/men afraid of getting too close to their counterparts. The most bothering thing about her entire entry was AFTER the male CA told them this and Presumably the female CA said something Similar to the men… They were all made to share something embarrassing that happened to them IN FRONT of these people they didn't really know yet. Even if they were not to tell their names such knowledge is just putting the seeds for Gossip, mistrust and insecurity around everyone. YIKES!

  6. This is hilarious. I seriously laughed out loud. How can you suggest that women should talk to women about things but not talk about men behind their back? If I can't come to a male with a problem and I have to talk to someone else instead does it not happen that I would potentially talk about that man behind his back? I understand the point. Don't gossip and its good to have a female support system. But seriously lets have some common sense. AND guarding your heart shouldn't be about the male at all. Women usually are the ones who bond emotionally through conversation(not all – there are always exceptions) but it should be about protecting them. Sigh …

  7. What he was saying was. When a girl/guy talks to the opposite sex about a concern or anything of that sort there are emotional ties. And if they keep going to each other with problems etc.. Then that emotional tie will be too strong too ignoreWhat he was saying was. When a girl/guy talks to the opposite sex about a concern or anything of that sort there are emotional ties. And if they keep going to each other with problems etc.. Then that emotional tie will be too strong too ignore

  8. Neverquit—

    I would agree that emotional ties are created when one shares their emotions with someone else. That is kind of the point.

    It is entirely possibly to have a male/female relationship that is strictly platonic while simultaneously sharing intimate details with each. I know this for a fact as my best friend is a male (who is married with a family and to whom I am not attracted to romantically)

    Friendships require an emotional tie. Without it, the friendship is shallow.

    So, my question to you is, why is building an emotional tie with someone of the opposite sex wrong or even concerning?

  9. Neverquit, Is this a mantra they had you recite? I ask because you seem to type everything twice. I have a very good guy friend several in fact that I think things through with. Specifically as a married individual having other married Male friends gives me a great option to say hey so my partner did this, I am trying to understand and respond in a way that would be non-confrontational. I do this because those men I talk to have a level head and understand a good connection of friendship between males and females can be just that a good friendship without strings attached. The thing is as Shannon said there are always gonna be emotional ties even with platonic friendships because that's the nature of friendship if it wasn't there then how do you have friends at all?

  10. lol funny

  11. I think women have yet to prove that they do not gossip. We all know that women just cannot help talking about other people's lives. It is normal and we do not find it wrong, but sometimes this results to messing things up.

  12. The fact is that women are much more verbal then men and NEED to talk things out. There's a HUGE difference in talking about an issue and gossiping. However in TM's black and white environment there's little room to distinguish between the two. Read

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