Lauren’s Story: the Honor Council

I was on the Honor Council for 2 terms (once as an intern and once as a GI). I look back now and am extremely saddened when I think about the people I hurt with my harsh punishments. During my first term on the Honor Council, we were all very strict. We did not deliberate much. To us, everything was black and white, cut and dry. Violate a rule and you were pretty much gone. There was really no mercy from anyone on the council. I heard David Hasz say something once along the lines of, “People who knowingly violate the rules do not deserve mercy.” I definitely soaked up that attitude and dispensed punishment accordingly.

My second term was a little different. It was almost a totally new group of people and one of them actually wanted to deliberate and actually give the intern the benefit of the doubt (gasp!). I think most of us saw this as a waste of time and wondered why this person couldn’t get it together and agree with the rest of us?? We generally ended up going with the harsh punishment we originally wanted, anyway.

Then something happened. After a week or two of intense cases (right after the holiday break) our very own chairman was brought before the Honor Council for what was actually the most egregious violation we had ever seen. Many tears were shed during that meeting and he was dismissed. (The whole internship was shocked – just goes to show you really can’t judge people correctly!) Then, it wasn’t long before a couple of other Honor Council members were brought before the council and they ended up being placed on probation.

After I graduated from the HA and moved on, I realized that many of us on the council who had been the most “hard ass” were actually just as deeply flawed as anyone who had appeared before us. About a third of the council (maybe more, my memory is a little fuzzy) was either dismissed or put on probation. And the individual I remember as being the most strict actually got his girlfriend pregnant (another alumnus) after being out of the HA for less than a year….

In retrospect, the whole Honor Council thing is just a bad idea. I get that having your peers hear your “case” could be a good thing, but most of the time it really just served to make many of us on the Honor Council feel superior, and probably made the interns before us feel like failures. It puts up walls instead of building bridges. Did being elected to the Honor Council twice play to my pride? Sure. I’m not saying I wasn’t at fault here – I most certainly was. But the system set me up for it, that’s for sure.

From beginning to end, the Honor Council is involved in judging people’s hearts. The intern body selects those they deem to be “most honorable.” Generally, they are really only judging on outward characteristics like charisma, likeability, and outward shows of passion for God. I think you can see from what I’ve already written that none of us on the council were any better than anyone else.

Then, determing the hearts of the interns that came before us – that is tricky business. Those people were really vulnerable and we generally tore them to shreds. I can only speak for myself, but I know that I ALWAYS assumed the worst about the interns. Looking back, I can say we dismissed people for the STUPIDEST stuff. And that goes for probation as well. But at the time, it all seemed so right.

Lastly, I would like to apologize to everyone that came before my Honor Council. Sadly, I hardly remember any names so I can’t contact you. But I regret that you felt rejection because of my actions and I can only pray that you have found peace, acceptance and love in the arms of God despite what we did to you. And I hope you can forgive me for causing you so much pain.

245 Comments on "Lauren’s Story: the Honor Council"

  1. Nunquam Honorablus | February 10, 2010 at 3:29 pm | Reply

    "I heard David Hasz say something once along the lines of, "People who knowingly violate the rules do not deserve mercy.""

    I don't see the problem here, because that is obviously how Jesus operated.

  2. First of all, I want to really congratulate you on your humbleness in coming forward on your experience on the Honor Council. It takes a lot of courage to admit you've hurt someone, and come out about it. So mad props, yo.

    I've been debating writing up my story, too. I never attended the HA (though I did apply and get rejected for being "crazy" AKA on bipolar medication), but my younger sister Lindsey went and I was still hurt by the HA/Teen Mania for almost destroying my best friend.

    You've found a safe place here, Lauren. <3

  3. Wow, they reject people for being bipolar? Do they also reject people on antidepressants or ADD meds? How about people who require asthma medications or insulin?

  4. Nunquam Honorablus | February 10, 2010 at 4:36 pm | Reply

    Well, they don't reject for ADD meds, I'll give them that. My roommate was on ADD medication our entire year and there wasn't a problem.

    Though- I was scared of getting rejected for medication, so I stopped taking all my ADD medicine/mood stabilizers and everything before I applied so that they wouldn't find any "fault" with me. Oh, dear.

    And I know that at least one of my roommates had an inhaler (that ended up getting passed around like a peace pipe because everyone was so winded all the time haha).

    Antidepressants are pretty likely, because to have to take medication for depression means that you probably aren't cut out for the Abuse Academy anyway.

    Woo alliteration!

  5. i was on anti-depressants for 1/2 of my first year there, and they were well aware of it…but there were quite a few lengthy discussions on the topic during my HA encouragement calls before i arrived.

    if i remember correctly [and this has been awhile, so i could be mistaken], they asked a lot of questions about HOW depressed i was, and what that looked like…and that i really only lucked out in getting into the HA because i wasn't currently seeing a counselor. awesome.

  6. one of my roommates was dismissed b/c she had epilepsy and didn't manage it well. she'd had seizures and was on probation. they told her if she had another one b/c of not medicating herself properly, they'd send her home. she had another seizure. they sent her home.

  7. mom of ex-intern | February 11, 2010 at 12:47 am | Reply

    Back to Lauren's story….as a mom of a dismissed intern, I appreciate your story and apology…I realize now that my child never had a chance and that true repentance and regret by this child did not matter…I am actually experiencing waves of nausea right now…and am moving from sad to mad. One can hardly blame you when the one at the top of HA (Dave) shares his belief of showing no mercy…

    Lauren, thanks for your 'braveness' in speaking out…and thanks to RA for this blog–so all affected by HA can heal and move on with the grace of God…

    I just PRAY that Dave Hasz reads these things–or others 'on top' and truly realize what they are doing to SO many young adults (and their families) and CHANGE things down there…

  8. Wow so they reject both the spirtually flawed and the physically flawed. Nice.

  9. good point last Anon–wow—

  10. Ex-Intern Aug 07 | February 11, 2010 at 1:05 am | Reply

    Mom – Amen to that! (Just to clarify, it's not my mom!) I really do pray for Teen Mania that God would change that place and completely wash through it, or shut it down because of the spiritual damage it's causing to the interns who then pass it on to others!

  11. I wonder if anyone has asked the HA staffers about what their definitions of Remorse and Repentance are. They are two very different feelings and actions. In every scenario I can think of, the Interns exercised immediate repentance, meaning they turned away from their "bad" behavior. What it sounds like is that they want people to have immediate remorse, and the more remorseful someone is then the more they really mean "I'm sorry". I don't know. The whole system is just so unloving and devoid of grace.

  12. "What it sounds like is that they want people to have immediate remorse, and the more remorseful someone is then the more they really mean "I'm sorry"."

    tremendous point, carrie.

  13. Current Intern | February 24, 2010 at 2:23 am | Reply

    So many comments on this website are taken out of context. I am not saying they are perfect, but I know several Honor Council interns and I know their hearts. Please don't judge all Teen Mania interns by this.

  14. Current Intern – I do believe that nearly all interns have a heart to follow God and are doing it to the best of their ability – its just that they are taught to do this in ways that distort who God is. But fundamentally, I know that they believe they are doing the right thing.

  15. mom of ex-intern | February 24, 2010 at 3:29 am | Reply

    to Current Intern:
    "but I know several Honor Council interns and I know their hearts."

    Well, only God really knows their hearts—and He knew my son's heart, and his regret, remorse and repentance for his mistake…these kids on Honor Council did not truly know/nor could they know my son's heart–nor did they have the right to judge it when they mercilessly dismissed him. So please don't ask me not to judge all TM interns 'by this',,,

    And 007, I totally agree with your post: "I really do pray for Teen Mania that God would change that place and completely wash through it, or shut it down because of the spiritual damage it's causing to the interns who then pass it on to others!"

  16. Nunquam Honorablus | February 24, 2010 at 4:01 am | Reply

    Preach it Mom! 🙂

    Quite right 007; I'm excited to see how the Lord is going to use this whole Board of Directors thing…

    We don't need legalism, we need GOD!!! (recent interns will recognize that immediately)

  17. I do have to agree with current intern, I think a lot of what leadership says is taking out of context, it amazes me. We were told from the very beginning things that would mean immediate dismissal, now i have to say that honor counsel have a hard job. and there were plenty of times when i saw my friends leave when i felt that they shouldn't have. but they knew the rules they knew that by doing something against TM rules could in fact lead to dismissal. TM isn't a place for baby Christians, i believe it was designed to teach us and grow us in leadership in a Godly way. they cannot give everyone multiple chances, otherwise it is only going to keep feeding into that sin. Tm is not perfect i had troubles with them my intern year. But realize that by all of you saying that TM should have given you, or a relative, or friend a second chance, shouldn't you do the same to TM? I am not saying you have to go back to HA or even recommend TM to anyone, but make sure all that is said is said as nicely as possible. Because even though TM may have messed up up your TM experience, they didn't for everyone.

  18. CoCo – I think you are missing the point here. I, and many others, are questioning the appropriateness of the entire dismissal system as it now stands – the whole darn thing is wrong.

    "They cannot give everyone multiple chances."

    Yeah, because far be it from Jesus to give someone multiple chances!!! I mean, geez, we wouldn't want to be known as giving people grace and mercy!! Oh, the horror!

  19. Nunquam Honorablus | February 24, 2010 at 3:03 pm | Reply

    Wow, CoCo, what exactly differentiates a "baby Christian" from an "elite warrior"?

    If it's anything beside the Blood of Jesus, then I mourn what TM has done to you to make you think that you, yourself, can do anything to make yourself more highly favored than a Christian who can't run a mile or struggles with habitual sin.

    Really, I want to know: what makes an Honor Academy intern better than any other Christian? Is it anything that you've done? Does God favor you because you deprive yourself of sleep for "the greater cause", or you're required to read your Bible everyday?

    Please, humor me. I think we all want to know…

  20. That's a VERY good question Nunquam…and I'd love to see CoCo's response too…

  21. CoCo and Current Intern, could you be more specific and give us some examples of comments on this website that are taken out of context? Perhaps you could put such comments into context for us?

  22. Coco! living a "limitless" life huh? 🙂
    That just made me happy. I know you… I just don't know who you are.
    And I agree completely with both parties. The H.A. lays the rules out very clearly. If you get dismissed for breaking the rules it's your own fault. It's just figuring out that's not what Jesus does to us that's the cool part. And yeah, I was a really new believer. The H.A. totally wasn't for me. If I had known half the stuff I know now, I wouldn't have fallen into a lot of the deception I was fed.
    LIVE and learn…
    🙂

  23. "TM isn't a place for baby Christians."

    Funny, I didn't see that in the marketing material.

    Until the HA stops accepting "baby Christians" and/or new believers into the program, they cannot continue to say this with a straight face.

  24. RA- I too think that HA dismissal system could change, you could always be in need for improvement. But I think that a lot of people think that just because Christ gives us unmeasurable chances, that everyone one expects TM to do the same? TM isn't God they are a training facility. And everyone feels there entitled to be given a second chance, just because you dismissed doesn't mean you are not forgiven. And i do know people while at they HA were shown grace and mercy. I think you could be totally feel sorry for what you did but sins have consequences and if TM gave everyone a second chance it would only give people thoughts to why change? there going to let me stay anyway, there is a fine line between giving multiple chances and enabling.

    Nunquam Honorablus- I didn't say I or any other HA participant, intern or staff is better than any other christian. If i came off as so, I apologize. That is not my intention! But I believe there are stages of Christianity and I believe that the "baby Christian" or the luke warm for that matter would not be effective in the HA environment. HA is designed for someone who wants to be radical for God and pursue Him deeper.

    Natalie- you may or may not know me, I know of previous cores with that name during their year!

  25. mom of ex-intern | February 26, 2010 at 12:05 am | Reply

    could Anonymous 2.0 please decipher CoCo's entire first paragraph of this post–where is the "excellence" here–in typing so improperly?

    BTW CoCo–Jesus says we are to forgive seventy times seven–and why shouldn't TM do the same (in forgiving totally repentant sinners)–even just once?–Are they ABOVE the rest of the world?

    And also by the way CoCo–just because you made a mistake or broke a man-made rule–it does not mean you are a 'baby Christian', or lukewarm, for that matter–it means you are HUMAN–and, thank you Jesus–a FORGIVEN person. I, as a mature Christian, have made mistakes–but I repent, ask forgiveness and move forward and grow in the Lord, having learned from my mistakes…

    Believe it or not–you can be radical for God AND pursue Him deeper without the HA…which is what I pray for all the dismissed and discarded interns when HA sheds them…

  26. mom of ex-intern | February 26, 2010 at 12:14 am | Reply

    oops…back to my comment –my thought train jumped the tracks…
    To CoCo–the point I was addressing about 'baby Christians…my child grew up in the church and the Lord–and therefore was not a 'baby Christian'–just a person who made a mistake–as I have, and I am sure that the leadership at TM has made mistakes, repented and moved forward in the Lord…forgiven.

  27. CoCo,

    Wow, I don't even know where to begin…

    1) "TM isn't God they are a training facility."

    Pardon for me thinking that a "training facility" which purports to train Godly people in a Godly way should actually act God-like. Silly me.

    2) And everyone feels there entitled to be given a second chance,

    Yes, its this silly little thing called grace that Christians sometimes talk about.

    3)just because you dismissed doesn't mean you are not forgiven.

    Obviously they are forgiven by God – but, generally, the way they are treated does not communicate forgiveness. Why are they banished to staff housing until they leave campus? Why does no one in the internship speak to them again after they leave?

    3)And i do know people while at they HA were shown grace and mercy.

    Albino gorillas are rare, but some people have seen them! Nothing is impossible!

    4) I think you could be totally feel sorry for what you did but sins have consequences and if TM gave everyone a second chance it would only give people thoughts to why change? there going to let me stay anyway,

    Ok, so this is really the core of it. You are basically stating that the goal of the Honor Academy is behavior change. Unfortunately, that is not the Gospel. You cannot force people to change. Even the Holy Spirit doesn't do that.

    Let me repeat: The Holy Spirit does not FORCE us to change by threatening to leave us or kick us out of the body of Christ. He leads by love and conviction which springs from our inside. Not something forced on us from the outside.

    Apparently, TM thinks they have a better strategy than the Holy Spirit.

    And secondly on this topic, who decides what change is? Perhaps an intern falling into "sin" and being shown radical grace and mercy would change something in their heart? Maybe they could get free from condemnation? That is the kind of real, lasting change that produces fruit. Ever thought of that?

    This whole forcing interns to change is BALONEY. It.Does.Not.Last.

  28. Nunquam Honorablus | February 26, 2010 at 1:24 am | Reply

    CoCo, I think what it comes down to is this:

    Abuse happens when man tries to play the role of the Holy Spirit.

    Like RA said, the Holy Spirit does not FORCE anyone to change. He convicts us of our sins and gently leads us to repentance.

    Think about it- a parent is frustrated because their kid doesn't feel bad or remourseful about things they do that the parent thinks are bad. So they may spank the kid (that's fine), but frustration builds and sometimes the parents go too far, and either yell hateful words or physically harm their child.

    You cannot FORCE heart change.

    PS: by saying, "TM is not for baby Christians", you are making a clear distinction between Christians who struggle with sin and those who don't. You are calling those who were initially accepted into, but later dismissed from, the program "baby Christians", thus the implication is that they just weren't cut out to be perfect and never sin.

    I understand if that wasn't your impression, but…..

  29. And, again I would add its wrong for the HA to accept "baby Christians" into the program, only to kick them out. If they are going to keep using that line, the application should say at the top:

    "Baby Christians Need Not Apply."

  30. I am a current GI. I must say that I completely understand the bitterness that one can hold towards TM. I had it last semester. I let it fester in my heart. Bitterness is not a good thing to have in life- thus I had to go through the forgiveness process in my heart with the Lord's help. However, that is another story. I am commenting because I am currently on my 3rd probationary term. Although I may not agree with the process- or see entirely eye to eye with some of the decisions that are made- I am (oddly) grateful that this is happening to me. I have leaders in my life that see me day-to-day and are actually IN my life (not just sitting in an office) and they are pointing out areas where I need to grow. I am finding that there are some fallacies to their suggestions (take all things with a grain of salt- yes?) but they are mostly truths. The Lord, in His kindness, is leading me to repentance. It would be easy for me to blame TM for all of my human weakness…but where would that put me? Well. I would leave TM- that is for sure! And if I did…Would the Lord still love me? Of course. Would I still grow in my walk with the Lord? Yes. Well. To a point I believe. There comes a point where you blame so much on something or someone outside of yourself in which you let hate/bitterness/unforgiveness grow…which leads you AWAY from the Lord. I compare being at TM to reading any book. I have never agreed with every single thing in any book (outside of the bible) or took it to be something applicable to my life- everything doesn't always fit into my "worldview". Does that mean that I never pick up the book because I know that there are a few points I disagree with? No. I simply use it to challenge my thinking- to cultivate my own beliefs and thoughts. I appreciate TM for bringing me closer to the Lord and for facilitating the growth that I desperately needed. Without this probation…I don't think I would have dealt with the issues that I am dealing with until MUCH later in life. Praise God that He is faithful, kind, full of grace, and oh so loving towards us. Many of my friends are on the honor council and they were on my cases. They confided in me with their similar struggles and followed up with me later. They never looked down upon me or judged me. Rather, they came along side me like sister's in Christ and encouraged me in the Lord. I am truly grateful.

  31. mom of ex-intern | February 27, 2010 at 3:43 pm | Reply

    to GI Intern:
    "I am currently on my 3rd probationary term"

    My child was never given probation for his mistake–HA never gave him a chance to prove his repentance to God at the HA…he was tossed out like the trash and is working through the pain.

    And, you are fortunate that you were never 'looked down upon and judged"…again, not the case with my son–maybe it's because you have 'friends' on the honor council…you should be truly grateful.

    My postings on this blog are not due to bitterness (God has worked on me with that through His precious Holy Spirit)–I am posting because I believe that changes NEED to be made to this entire honor council and dismissal process…I also want to help other dismissed interns realize that they are not alone and that God can and will restore them..and I am grateful to RA for his blog–it was the first step in the healing process for my son–and us as a family…we became aware of the spiritual abuse going on down there. THIS NEEDS to CHANGE..and that is my prayer that God will move the hearts of the leadership at TM and HA..

  32. I am not bitter. Sheesh!!!!!

    Just because I'm saying some negative things about TM and how they treated me and others…it doesn't mean I'm bitter.

    Golly Moses!!!

    You know what might make me bitter? Having people constantly accuse me of being bitter!

    lol

  33. Ex-Intern Aug 07 | February 27, 2010 at 11:41 pm | Reply

    RA – That was the biggest problem I faced after I left. EVERYONE was telling me how angry and bitter I was towards Teen Mania – and I had nothing but love and forgiveness!!! BUT the more people told me I was bitter, angry and unrepentant, the more I became bitter and angry towards Teen Mania. And THAT was what took me a while to work through. Mainly thanks to John Bevere's "The Bait Of Satan", and also the Holy Spirit convicting me (of course!)

  34. GI, Teen Mania molested my spirit and you descibe my feelings as BITTER?! You can't even begin to know the depths of my feelings. Bitter doesn't scratch the surface. Try devastated, destroyed, harmed, overwhelmed, distressed, distrought, shattered, broken, invalidated, manipulated, powerless, confused, abused, attacked . . . any of these would have been a better word choice.

    Wait until you have been away from Teen Mania for a few years, then maybe you will begin to understand. . . but I pray you will come out of there with your spirit unassaulted.

  35. Z – well said. As I've said before:

    http://teenmaniahonoracademy.blogspot.com/2009/12/why-its-ok-to-be-angry.html

    bitterness is a part of the recovery process. I think the things you listed are accurate descriptions of the overwhelming nature of what happened to you at the HA.

    My only point in my comment is that I have personally worked through the bitterness and my only motivation for this blog is love for other interns. I would hate for anyone to misunderstand my comment and think that raw emotions are not ok.

  36. Nunquam Honorablus | February 28, 2010 at 8:30 pm | Reply

    GI- how original.

    I love how the only thing people can say in defense of TM is "lol ur bitter". If interns, GIs, and staff members would just offer intelligent, level-headed counterpoints (like Mr. Eicher and Jeff O), then I think we'd be a lot more inclined to take your post seriously.

    The hundreds of people that have realized the damage Teen Mania did to them… are just bitter? We may have been at one point, and we may even be working through bitterness, but just dismissing the physical, emotional, psychological (and, even to a degree, sexual) torment that the HA (inadvertently) caused as an excluded case of bitterness doesn't help ANYONE.

  37. So I am very new to this site. I've been reading through a few of the different stories recently. (To be forthcoming, I am an alumnus, graduated Aug 03) Since I really didn't have any experience with the Honor Council and don't remember any specifics about the process, I have a question after reading through this particular post. Please, no one read this question with even an ounce of pride, sarcasm, or disdain for anything going on in this blog. I truly want to know opinions (RA's especially). How would you all deal with an intern who breaks a fairly serious rule, specifically? I completely agree that grace should be extended and second (even third and so on) chances given. I guess I just don't know how TM could put that into a "policy". Thoughts?

  38. AgostoZeroTres | March 16, 2010 at 7:42 pm | Reply

    Just to put this out there for what it's worth..I knew a guy from my year 02-03 who was put on probation 4 times for looking at pornography 4 separate times on the internet. He went back for a second year at the media thing they have now. But another person who watched a make-out scene in a movie, feels bad, confesses and gets dismissed. What happened there??

  39. I was dismissed during my second year at TM as a core advisor. I'm not going to get into details because it's a long story, and also, because I don't have to 🙂 BUT… I'm really glad that I was dismissed. I definitely screwed up, i knew the rules and I broke them, and it was appropriate in my situation for me to be dismissed. I know that is not always the case, but in mine… thank God I got out of there. I actually remember feeling so free and happy when I knew I was going home. Don't get me wrong… it was really hard. it was 5 years ago. I am still learning and un-learning. Jesus' Love is so much larger than any of that stuff. I think one of the scariest things about my time there, was that I forgot that God was bigger than the Honor Academy. I thought I had found IT, you know, like the REAL Body of Christ or something. So sad. How entirely depressing. But we are so utterly loved that God never stops revealing Himself to us, His unending Love, His remarkable creativity, His uncanny ability to make all things new. I when I say that, I am mostly referring to how he is healing the pain in my life brought on by dismissal. Yeah, I was really glad to go home, but of course it was damaging to leave that way. I still feel condemnation from some of my old friends from TM. I love to see people from back then, but I know that a lot of people feel like I owe them an explanation and apology. Anyone that I did owe an apology too, well, it was taken care of a looooong time ago. They forgave me, and we moved forward. It's other people, people that had nothing to do with it, that act as though I am a leper, and they don't treat lepers the way Jesus did. That's really too bad. But like I said, Jesus is healing all of that. He is faithful to, He loves me. And I like to think that it has all taught me how I can love people better, and that is a wonderful thing. Sorry to ramble so.

  40. I want to tell CoCo thankyou for giving your thoughts and I think that if everyone jumps on each other like they did to her than no one will want to post true thoughts. So, thank you!

  41. Its not "jumping" on someone to critique their viewpoint. It's called a conversation. You can't just put up your opinion with nothing to back it and expect no push-back…If she believe what she is saying, why can't she post a response?

  42. Plus, with your defintion it could easily be said that Coco was "jumping" on others….

  43. Anonymous, I hope nobody here is feeling jumped upon; everybody should have the right to disagree, don't you think? And surely you can see how CoCo might have given a bit of an impression of gracelessness, and why that might make some people here a bit touchy…

    I also hope nobody here is using a Sock Puppet. 😉 You know we really do love you, CoCo!

  44. I was dismissed from the HA four days from gradation my intern year. I didn't even get a Honor Council case. I was called into my RDs office and was told I was being dismissed and I had until midnight to leave campus. My car broke down during the summer and I had no-one to stay with off campus. So my brother who lives in Oklahoma had to take off work drive down there to pick me up. I am not saying I shouldn't have been dismissed, but HA could have treated it a little better.

    p.s. I was also VBed from my GE trip I was on, and I wasn't even allowed to watch my friend graduate. I asked and was told if I didn't leave by midnight I would be trespassing and they would call the cops.

  45. They threatened to call the cops on you?!?!

    I have no words for that.

  46. Really, the only reason that would be appropriate is if you were causing bodily harm to people on campus…or threatening to…

  47. -RA- nope now if they say to leave by a certain time and you don't they will have you escorted off campus, Its in their right that's what they told me.

  48. Because you are a threat? COME ON TMM!!! Get with this! The people who come to your internship are people who sincerely love God, how can you treat them like frickin enemies??? Not to mention that the scripture has a lot to say about how Christians are to treat their enemies, I guess a hell of a lot better than how we treat our friends.

  49. Lauren, I'm wondering what year you were there. I was a 98' intern and was on the HC the second half of my year. What you described is exactly what happened while I was on the (after Christmas break). I'm wondering if we were on there at the same time. I didn't even know that the HC existed until I returned from break and heard that I had been voted to be on it (when did the voting happen?) Of course I was flattered that my peers, whoever they were, decided that I should be on this council. At the first meeting I found out that I was a backup member of the council which meant that I would be moved up into an active role if others couldn't be there or were dismissed/put on probation. As you mentioned in your story people started "dropping like flies" so I was quickly moved into that active seat. At the time I thought the concept of "a jury of peers" was a great way to manage the situation. Since then I've become a part of a really healthy, grace-filled church where I realize that the system at TM was flawed. TM isn't the Church but because they teach and train so heavily we interns can start to feel like acceptance/rejection by TM means acceptance/rejection by God. I think that a coed secluded campus like GV needs some really strict rules to make sure that 18 year olds aren't overcome by temptation…but that isn't a natural environment. God set up the Church to operate eating and fellowshipping together in one another's homes. We need old people, young people, babies to babysit, the needy to feed, the young mom's broken car to fix, etc.
    A really tough moment was when I had to sit on the council to dismiss a childhood friend. After looking at all of this I'm going to send him a message asking for his forgiveness.
    Thanks for the site.

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