Emma’s Story: Part 2

Summer started for Global Expeditions in June. I was working in operations in GE, and we had to basically make “Immersion” happen for each wave of missionaries. We had to plan the services, the ceremonies to get them fired up to go, and send them off. Once the missionaries arrived, I was working 7am to 2am for the weeks they were on campus (I think it was a total of 6 weeks).

This was when I lost my admiration and respect for the Honor Academy and Teen Mania as a whole. Because I was working so much, I did not get enough rest to do a good job, I missed meals because I was too busy, and the worst; I did not have time for a quiet time. The balance of work was skewed as well. I had friends and core members who worked 2-4 hours each day, and spent the rest of the day hanging out in the summer. If those people had teamed with us to work shifts, we all would have been much more effective and rested. One of my core members would work up until 2am with me some nights (her own choice, because she had finished her work), just because that was the only way she could spend time with me. My manager kept pushing and pushing for me to do things for GE, and because I was a model intern, I could not say no. Another of my core mates emailed Dave Hasz to tell him how much I was working, and that I couldn’t spend time with Jesus because of it, and he responded by telling my manager to relax a little on the work hours. My manager got upset with me about this, basically telling me that the email (which I had nothing to do with) was inappropriately sent and I should carry my cross and endure the summer.

I fail to see why Teen Mania feels justified in this kind of slave labor. I worked so hard for them, and paid to be there. I gave up a year of my life to do this, and did not receive the support (core leaders, other leadership), the training (for the real world), or the spiritual growth (especially during the summer) that I had been promised. I was the model intern, I did the required stuff to the best of my ability and then did extra, I kept my commitment not to communicate with my ex-boyfriend, I did the probation for that earlier in the year (with little to no follow-through on the things I had been assigned, and I did them anyway), and I did my best to get the most out of my internship (extra training, activities, etc.).

After my over-worked summer with Global Expeditions, I came home pretty angry with Teen Mania. During my year at the HA, all of my friends from home had drifted away with their own lives, and so I came home to pretty much no one but my family. My family was getting worse with my parents’ separation, and with the loss of my core from the HA, I felt really alone. I don’t know where I would have been without the constant support and friendship of my ex-boyfriend from before the HA…even still, I sank into a deep depression that took almost a year to pull out of. Part of that was because I had so few friends and lost the support of my core when most of us left (only ONE August from my core stayed at the HA for another year), and it was aggravated by my parents’ drama. I didn’t have a problem with legalism as much, because I had a lot of the summer before I left to “get the HA out of my system.” It seemed hypocritical to me that they would put so much emphasis on morning quiet times and discipline before summer, and then once summer hits, do NOTHING to encourage or support that even if interns desire it. It took me awhile to make friends, simply because everybody at my college (freshmen/sophomores) who were my age seemed silly. It felt like none of them could relate to the pain I was in, or even encourage me in it. After about a year or so, I did eventually meet some great girls who were grounded in their relationships with God, and who I could lovingly support as well as allowing them to encourage and support me.

I graduated from the HA, and went to college, graduated from that, and now I have a grown-up job. I am in a much stronger and more real relationship with Christ than I ever was at the HA. I married my ex-boyfriend that I had not spoken with that year, and we have been very happily married for almost 10 months now. He has shown me more grace and love than I ever deserved, and he is an admirable example of what a wonderful man of God is–and he never went to the HA.

My parents divorced late last year. When it happened, I was glad to just see closure to everything that was so dramatic with them. My mom is struggling to make it by, though, and my dad is engaged to another woman (one of the ones he cheated on my mom with). I am doing my best to be a godly and encouraging example to my younger siblings. My littlest sister is 12 and does everything like me, and everything I did when I was her age (same sports, same youth group events, same types of friends and taste in music and clothes). I just hope she doesn’t want to go to the HA until there are some real changes.

I think there is hope for positive change. I don’t harbor any hard feelings toward anyone at Teen Mania for this experience, and I did learn a lot. I would like to see things change though. There needs to be less emphasis on works and legalism and pushing your body, and more emphasis on providing interns with encouragement and support to lead and to grow in their relationship with Jesus. As far as material things, they need better food (I have never had worse food in my life), and a better balance of work (especially during the summer).

337 Comments on "Emma’s Story: Part 2"

  1. What's strange to me it, all of the "outcasts" or weirdo kids who attended HA while I was there are some of the most grounded, loving people I know now. I wonder why that is?

    Emma, I'm sorry you didn't have the support you needed. It's always dissapointing to hear stories about someone who really pushed and pushed but left feeling used up. This has happened to so many HA alumni, is an obvious pattern, and has yet to be remedied by the Staff. Your suprivisor reacted with classic indignation for being called out in their error, when they should have wrapped you in their arms and said, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I was hurting you."

  2. TMM can never change the way they do ATF's and GE because those are the slot machines for the ministry. They bring in all the "revenue". Those are the "products" – so to cut down the slave labor force will only diminish ministry funding.

  3. What I want to believe is that TMM doesn't realize just how bad they harmed so many. What I want to hope happens is that after another year of these stories they realize it's not just a few bad seeds but a good percentage of the internship that years later still remembers feeling used/treated poorly instead of godly ect. I can hope these are the things they eventually realize. What I am more likely seeing is an organization that even if some of the staff want to fix things they are stuck. There likely isn't the money to really support the ministry any way besides forcing kids that take a year to learn to do the work for free (paying TMM for the privilege). What is likely the case is that like any business that takes their work over seas is that they are doing things this way because the demand for the "product" is so high that the "leadership" can't afford to care about what producing it does to those under them. Since the staff under the leadership are dependent on the brand they have to accept the practices and some are likely hurting as much as we are. At least this is what my better angel tells me to hope is happening.

    The other option is that they have the money to make things better and they won't because instead of godly men DH, RL, HS et al are just well paid corporate types that try to make the world think they are godly when behind closed doors they are adulterous leeches who really care less about what the bible says except so far as it pertains to their pockets. Since I don't think most of us want to believe this…. Well you know….

  4. Emma,
    I can totally relate with having to deal with your parents divorce while attending the HA. I told my CA about it as well and like you said it was like she didn't know what to do for me. Thank you for sharing.

  5. It is truly a tragedy that an organization like Teen Mania operates in such an outrageous, ungodly manner. Justifying slave labor in the name of God is, by all accounts, the wrong thing to do. Call it sin, call it crime, call it the devils work, call it the darkness, by any name it strikes an evil slash through the heart of the gospel truth of love, justice, and compassion.

  6. Emma,

    It makes me so happy to hear that you and your boyfriend are now married! My parents went through a nasty divorce too and a good friend recommended a book that helped me so much: "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce" it's by Judith Wallerstein. It's a 25 year case study following the lives of more than 100 kids of divorce. It really helped me to realize that my pain was all par on course and even though it was my parents who were divorcing it was my life, my childhood that was being questioned, and my future happiness in marriage that was now shaky and scary. It was your divorce too and you need to find healing. She wrote another excellent book called "The Good Marriage" — this book gave me hope for my future, and helped me get married with confidence that good marriages are not about people being baggage free, but rather about people who want to work THROUGH their baggage. If you haven't already read these I hope they will be a balm and encouragement to you.

    Take care!

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