Churches That Abuse by Ronald Enroth is a great book that I’ve referenced here before. It gives a rundown of abusive practices and characteristics to help you understand what you have experienced. He has also written Recovering From Churches That Abuse.
Both of these titles are out of print but you can buy used copies or email me and I will send you a FREE digital pdf of the books. My address is recoveringalumni at hotmail dot com.
So You Don’t Wanna Go to Church Anymore by Wayne Jacobsen, follows the journey of a man who slowly discovers that Christianity is not about ethics, but about love. Though he is in full timme ministry at a thriving church, his efforts to control both his behavior and other’s leads only to emptiness and futility. A great read that will refresh your spirit and help you think about things in a new way.
Also by Wayne Jacobsen,He Loves Me is a radical reorientation of the Christian life from effort and performance to resting in God’s love. Each page is dripping with grace and mercy. You can download the first edition for free if you follow the link. (Note: click the title not the book image)